Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Roller Derby

OMG, OMG, OMG !!!!! after more than a year of wishing I could go I
finally said screw it and I went to the roller derby, alone but
whatever it was TOTALLY WORTH IT !!! To see those woman play their
hearts out on those skates and ram each other to the floor is a sight
that has to be experienced.

I went even after I woke up 5:45 for work left early and then went to
volunteer at a local community garden for about 3 hrs. Took a shower
then made my way to the roller derby. My ankle and feet are killing me
but it was SOOO WORTH IT. There was electricity in the air I tell ya.

I'm going to the next one a month from now but I got so inspired by
these beautiful ladies that I wanna write a story about them. That and
I wanna be able to take pictures of the damn thing. If there's a
roller derby league near you, go to it. You won't regret it.
~ con safos ~

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Trabajando para comer

~ wrote this for another blog ~

I see a lot of things around me and sometimes I see things that just, well they just hit me hard for some reason. Take the picture above. It's of three kids talking to a security officer. Nothing special about that right ? Well those three kids are keeping an eye out for the real cops because their parents are street vendors. I see them all them time, specially here in L.A. and I have mixed reactions. One moment can be rage and frustration because their parents are making their kids put themselves in harms way, taking them with them to work and basically depriving them of a decent childhood. 

At the same time I relate to these kids because I have lived through that with my own parents. Their reasoning was that if i wasn't at school I had to go to work. What are you gonna do at the house ? Be lazy and and watch t.v. all day ? Go out with your friends from school and have a social life ? No hijo, aqui tienes que trabajar siquieres comer. (If you wanna eat around here, you better pull your weight.) Like those kids parents, my parents are more traditional and a hard days work is something that is highly valued because that kind of mentality was instilled in them by their parents. 

Part of me wants to tell these parents to let their kids have some sort of normalcy, if that's even possible, because their lives are screwed up enough as it is. But as I see the kids playing on the side walk or walking onto the road to see if police are on their way. I can only imagine what their home life must be because I know wasn't the best. My biggest concern is what is going to happen to these kids in the immediate future. Will they be engulfed by the system and become another statistic ? Will they continue in their parents foot steps and continue to live a life of hardship because they don't know any better ? Or will they make something of themselves and realize the potential within them ? 

It's uncertain what the future will bring, yet I have a compulsion/need to help kids like that. To show them that I was like them when i was there age and I made something of myself. I learned to break the cycle of ignorance and I was able to improve my families quality of life. I have no doubt that if given the chance, these kids would thrive and become great people who want to better themselves, their families and maybe even their communities. All it takes is one person to show they and guide them. To prove to them that life isn't all about work. Life is too short to spend it working to make ends meat. I have learned many a lesson from my parents. they have instilled in me traditions, moral values and work ethics that I have manipulated and used to benefit my goals and ambitions. All it took was motivation from someone or something to get me going. Since then I haven't looked back. I wait idly by as I will return the favor to someone else. To inspire greatness in them and help them realize their potential.

Gut Check

I forget sometimes how full of shit I am because honestly, we all need a reality check every now and then. Once someone starts acting like they're the king of the world, ohhh you bet I'm gonna say something. Shuu ain't no one I would call a friend be walking around like he's the king/queen of England. At the same time I do what I can in keeping myself in check and not letting things get outta hand because that's when it all starts going to hell. I've caught myself doing that a few times and I don't like it. Not just because of the tensions it causes with others, but because I like humbling myself and planting my feet firmly on the ground. 

At the same time though, there's a certain level of acceptable bullshit that I allow myself because it pushes me and keeps me going in terms of being productive. Finding the balance between humbleness and being proud of your work is tricky, but not impossible. I know I have skills, but I don't let it get to me because I know I still room to greatly improve and be much better. It's all about takin' it to the next level. So with that being said, getting a gut check every now and then helps out a lot.  

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I know it's dumb

but I got a twitter. As if i wasn't connected enough to the world through technology. I swear if the gov really wanted to find me, they would have no problem tracking me down with all the crap I'm into. Course they have to catch me but that's something totally different. But yeah twitter, I even added a thingy to the blog. God I'm such a dork. It'll all be worth it when the Watchmen movie comes out. 

No rest for the wicked, but there's always time to blog

This is what my school newspaper looks like before I work magic. It's a lot of fun doing this because it's like putting together a puzzle, but that's after I edit stories and fix'em up. HOWEVER, this is my life up until June because this is what I do, it's my job, my passion and my guilty pleasure all in one. If the school newspaper was a woman I would marry her, not really though. More than anything I'm behind on life. I have like this long list of things I need to do, like commenting and showing support to other peoples blogs. I make a note to really read what they're writing about and chime in with my two cents if I have any. I'm not one for just casually reading what someone wrote and be like whatever. Nuh uh, that's not how I see things. 
I READ EVERYTHING so when someone is down in the dumps, I feel guilty because I feel that maybe I can say something encouraging and help them see things for the better, ,god knows I need that sometimes. 

I mean, people that blog about life trials and tribulations invest some emotion and valuable time in writing whether just to vent or for another reason. For me it's a little bit of everything. I'm a writer straight out. I think too much about things and I think about what I'm going to write about or blog while I'm doing other things. Gets annoying sometimes really. Can't seem to have a moments peace in my crazy ass head. Case in point this blog post. See how fast I just trailed off and basically started rambling. I'm like that. A million miles a second AND I'm brain fried at the moment too. I fell asleep there for a second. Yeah, writing, it's life. 
This is the end result of a hard days work. I get to school around 9 a.m. have some cafe and pan and get to work. Lunch then math class from 4 to 6. Chill for a second and get back on the horse. My ass hurts right now from sitting down so much it's not even funny sometimes. It's all worth it though because tomorrow I'll see the finished product and rejoice in the fact that people are going to read the paper, form an opinion and be engaged in the circle of life, so to speak. That why I blog through my phone a lot. You'll notice the unaligned text and my email massage ~ con safos ~ Which means With Respect. It's a Chicano word I picked up at a poetry reading. The other thing is that now I have soo many friends and bloggers reading my brain farts that I no longer have that insecurity of "I wonder if people read my shit." I was blogging about raising awareness about the Dream Act, things undocumented residents deal with and spreading a positive message, but at the same time I realize that my own personal life experiences alone can also put immigration reform in a positive light.  

This post for example, here I am writing about how much work I do at school. It's just the way things are for now. Nothing last for ever and things will get better, I know this. I think that some people are meant to suffer not because of crimes in past lives, but because they're the one who are gonna change the world and people around them for the better. I've recently made the decision that becoming a teacher is something I want to do. Why ? Because I'm selfish and I want to feel like I redeemed myself to a world that I've taken so much from. That and cause there is another generation of kids growing up beaner like I did and if no one is there to show them there is hope and that you can be something, they'll just get swallowed up by the world and ruin their lives some how. i see it already in friends family. I don't say anything of course, but I think it. But yeah, my ramblings are just my way of keeping the demons at bay. When a person like me is left alone to think, it's not a good thing. 

Course having a girl to talk to and keep my mind distracter on better and happier things wouldn't hurt either. That date I was sold for is tomorrow. I'll post up pictures for all you metiches out there. Other than I'm probably too busy for the hanky panky. But there is this ONE girl I gave my number to. She likes paletas and I like cookies. We'll see what happens. You never know what life may bring. That's why I don't take it TOO serious all the time. There's a time and place for everything and I've learned to deal with life with humor. I twist my ankle and I laugh. No use in getting mad or upset. Shit happens. Just laugh it off. 

Do work son

That's what I do best, work. Someone has to do it right ? I'm a
veteran and my skills and knowledge will come in handy, but it's all a
group effort. It's only possible with everyone working together as one
and getting work done. My X is there and things are well, ackwerd to
say the least. But I'm not there to see her. I'm there to do work.
Being a reporter for my school newspaper isn't easy. But it's all good
because this is a great semester. Because I do work.

~ con safos ~

Sunday, February 22, 2009

The current job I have

Feels like it's draining my soul everytime I go there. I'm not being
dramatic or anything, that's how it really feels. The idea of being at
a job I'm to smart for drains me. While I won't say where I work, it
involves people and their food.

I hate the fact that I have to bring myself down to that level, but at
the sametime my experiences here have helped me improve dramatically.
To be able to deal with people and their dramatic bullshit is an
incredible asset that I have picked up, relunctently. This job allows
me to go to school and live on my own and I'm greatful, bit the
frustration is still there.

On my first day I called and said I was gonna be late because I went
Guitar Center to see Dimebag get inducted into their rock of fame. Zak
Wylde performed live and it was worth it. Then after going through the
orientation of the place, I got a taste of what I was in for on my
first real day on the job.

I literaly had to clean human crap from the restroom. It was smeared
on the walls and it was the most disgusting thing ever. That sums it
all up really. Being humiliated like that puts alot of things in
perspective and I'm thankful for that. I would have prefered to learn
that lesson another way, but it's a lesson I'm glad I learned. That's
the only way I've been able to put with it, because of what I have
learned about myself, others and what I am fighting for.

~ con safos ~

Friday, February 20, 2009

My 103 post

Did you notice it ? Well I did because I saw it on my dashboard, but I
have surpassed my 100th blog post. Thanks to everyone who reads and
subcribes to my blog. I couldn't have done it with out you guys
because blogger also says I've gotten over 1,000 profile views, but to
be honest most of those are mine.

This blog started out as something personal and just evolved into what
it is now, a place where I can describe and talk about immigration and
how it affects those who live, mainly me cause I'm a beaner. But I
hope you guys/gals will be around for the 200th post. I for one can't
wait to see what they will bring. Probably more of my personal
ramblins and what not.
~ con safos ~

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Zombies attack...not really though

~ At universal studios halloween haunt last year ~

Holy crap does this one take me back. What you are about to read is me at my most, well how can I put this... idiotic. I dug this up because I remembered I once wrote a "what I would do if zombies attacked" plan. Yes I made one up don't laugh. I've been listening to the new Cannibal Corpse album "Evisceration Plauge" and well yeah. I'm reviewing it for my school news paper, thanks for hooking it up ghetto vegan. Now before worn, I wrote this at a time in which my spelling and linguistic stills weren't up to par. In fact the only reason I keep stuff like this around is to see how bad I was and how much I've improved. At least in my writing. I play a lot of video games, read a lot of comics and just basically live in a fantasy land. 


Friday, July 07, 2006 

First of all if anything from the movies is true(but probably isn't)then zombies shouldn't be that hard to get rid of. First of all zombies wont be the cliche souless creatures that walk and moan with their hands in front of them. If anything "real" zombies will be physically able to do many things and run at a good paste given their legs aren't gone or damaged in anyway. However that doesn't mean they're rocket scientist. Sure they can give you a run for your money, but that doesn't mean they will be able to have problem solving skills or open doors. Thus when they do attack,how we defeat them will depend on where I am when they do strike and what stores are nearby. 

In the ideal situation I would hope they attack while at the mall like in the movie but no such luck. If they attack while I'm at home I have an advantage. I can gather tools,weapons and supplies to move out and and make a plan.Said plan would be to save all emergancy supplies such as food,fire maing devices and other things of that nature. I would then proceed to open a can of whoop ass on any zombies near my home. 

By doing this I can asses any weaknesses that zombies may have if any.Oviously you can take their heads off. Blow limbs off,but can the undead really ever die...my guess is no. Thus after playing resident evil games and 1st person shooters I will disable them. Take off their legs and leave them crippeled.If they really piss me off I'll take their arms off too with an axe or something and kick them around a bit.I would then proceed to take an SUV or truck like vehicle and make my way to the nearest safety location or failing that the nearest wal' mart/ target closest to my home.Hiding out at a mall is cool but tstores like target have all the things you could ever need. Food,clothes,first aid supplies and entertainment. 

Thus once in the vehicle I would do everything in my power to run over as many zombies as possible and pick up people in need of help.While on the road I would go to friends houses and pick them up or just call them and ask them what they're going to do.Following that I would then head to the nearest target/k-mart.Once their I would enter through the back o in a fashion that once I'm inside none of the zombies would be able to enter as well. However if the zombies have already taken over that store I would asses the cituation.If there's not too many I would take them out and take the store from them. 

Yet if the store is lost I would plow through it in my vehicle and shop from inside my vehicle picing up stuff I need or want. Not to mention more weapons. With  that being said going to a gun store would be the best plan but I'm sure the people in the guns store don't want or need anymore companie.Thus if I show up to their store with supplies and food I'm sure we could work something out. Once a location is secured I would just wait it out and in my free time I would kill zombies for fun.That and if any hot girls are with me I would oviousl use the line "you know...now that half the world is turned into zombies we're going to need to repopulate the earth...what'da say? hmm" @_@. 

However there's still the question as to how people became zombies in the first place. Whether it be by science of magic I'm pretty sure any physical contact with them seals your fate.Yet if its caused by an air born virus then we're all screwed. Now that I think of it maybe leaving the country doesn't sound like a bad idea. I would have to look for someone who can fly a plane,helicopter or ship.Take all our stuff with us and head to Japan or somewhere else that's closer and zombie free.We would be able to stay cause we could ask for shelter. That is if we aren't exiled for fear that we might be carring the zombie virus/curse or what ever it is that caused all these problems.

If that were to happen then we would be screwd.I say I just find a good safe place to wait it out and see what happens.That is unless they take over the military or something.How knows maybe the zombies have already taken over and are making us make more zombies by killing each other so that when they take over they'll have plenty of help to rule the surface world. Also I realize that I could make a joke about television,computers and myspace turning people into zomibies nut I'm better than that.Besides that joke is old and played out.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Parents

Needless to say some of us have issues with out parents for one reason
or another. I don't know anyone that doesn't have some hang up with
their parents and in most cases it's a BIG hang up that streaches and
strains relationships. Something are generational and others can't be
helped, but whatever it is, it can be changed for the better.

I was texting a friend and at one point I mentioned that my parents
never hugged me when I was a kid, least not that I can recall. She
also didn't recieve "proper attention" when she was a kid and said
that it was a vicious cycle. I concured and said that it all ends with
me.

Another friend confided in me that while she has a much better
relationship with her parents, she says that they're over protective
and over bearing on her and her actions. She doesn't like being under
such scrutny. In fact when she had the opportunity to escape her
parents she did so with out haste and moved to another state.

Too extremes yet I feel that sometimes I wouldn't mind being under
such parents that care too much rather than parents who care some, but
it's evil of me to say that. I'm sure all parents love their kids with
all their heart, some are just better at provinding for them and
giving them the opportunities they never had themselves.

Whatever the case maybe, it doesn't have to continue. As the first
everything in my family and the oldest of four, I have a trendous
opportunity to end the cycle of neglect, ignorance and in some cases
pain. I can safely say that I am my fathers son in every sense of the
word. Not only am I his splitting image, but I picked up a lot of his
habits and traits. Some good and some bad depending on how you see
things.

Point is that even though I picked up a lot of his habbits, I turned
them into my own and I make them work for me, so to speak. One good
example is that my father can hustle. He's good at wheeling and
dealing, talking to people like he's known them for years and at times
getting the job done. I can say I'm like him in those aspects but I
put my own twist and changes into what he does. I can converse with
the best of them and adapt to situations easily so I can do work and
get the job done.

I'm not alone in rhis of course. Most first generation kids kinda go
through the same tribulations and adapt to their environent utilizing
the values and ideals instilled unto them by their parents. As their
kids we have the opportunity to take the best them and incorporate it
into our lives so that when we have kids not only know what our
parents taught us, but everything else we learned.

As their kids we have the opportunity to end a lot of problems that
keep our people down like not finishing school, working degrading, go
no where jobs and becoming more active within our communities. Course
this isn't a new concept or anything, I just felt like writing about
since the issue of parents kept coming up. Part of being a parent is
passing on knowledge and helping the next generation improve their
lives. I myself cannot wait for the day when I become a father.
Considering everything I know and lived through and have yet to
experience, I have a lot of knowledge to pass on.

~ con safos ~

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Pen pals are awesome

~ Art by Luke Chueh ~

Sometimes all it takes is a day to turn things around, for better or
worse. Just as fast as I felt like crap, I felt better the next day.
Weird how that works sometimes. One thing that helped was getting mail
from a pen pal. The act of taking time and writing a letter means more
to me in this day and age in which everyone is connected.

At the same time we're so connected that writing emails or texting
rather than calling or going to see someone become really impersonal.
The same goes for myspace or facebook. But yeah, sometimes the simple
act of getting a letter goes a long way. I'm not gonna say what she
wrote in the letter, metiches. But she liked the stickers I sent her ;-)

If anyone else wants to be a pen pal, as in we write each other
letters, shoot me over and email and we can work it out. You'd be
surprised how the simple act of writing a letter to someone and
venting can help. Plus the excitement of getting mail other than bills
makes things interesting. Please, serious inquiries only and if your
trying to get my personal info to call the migra on me, try it
fuckers. Let's see how far you get before I get you deported.


~ con safos ~

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Tetris, will you be my valentine ?

Long before I lost weight, I went from 200 lbs to 180ish now, my only
girl friend was cartoons, comics and of course video games. My biggest
problem with the opposite sex was that I lacked self confidense to
talk to girls.

The funny thing is that girls went after mr sometimes, but I was such
an idiot that I never did anything about it. Even guy friends would
tell me I'm an idiot for not picking up on girls. Sigh... Luckly,
those days are behind me and now I have no problem going after girls
that catch my eye.

Course every now and then I'll revert back to my old ways and be like,
"that girl is outta my league. I shouldn't eve bother because she
probably already has a man." I don't let that happen too often, for
the better part, I finally got some balls to ask girls out. Better
late than never right?

~ con safos ~

Friday, February 13, 2009

Ese piche trabajo

Don't get me wrong, in these trying times I'm extremely appreciative
in still having a job. But as I sit here writing this up while
listening to Hendrix "Burning of the midnight lamp" I get over powered
with rage and frustration because I have to go to a job I'm to smart
for.

A job I should never even consider having knowing what I do, but I
still come here because of financial need. This job has put me through
school for the last two years and I'm eternally greatful, but
sometimes the sacrafices don't merrit me being here. To lose my
identity and conform to be just another machine in the assembly line.

I see others who have it worse. Who have jobs in which they're
constantly being put down by their employers because of language
barriers. They act as go getter, fetching their lunch and watching
their kids like a slave. They give up soo much just to take shit from
others all so they can make a living. Sometimes I question the
sacrafices because I would rather die on my feet than live on my knees.

"Loneliness is such a drag"

~ con safos ~

Random Day

I'm having a hard time getting into the flow of things in school. I
kid you not, I'm super lazy and it's amazing I get any work done
sometimes. Procrastination and deadlines are the only things that
force me into doing things last minute and half assed.

I'm happy to be back on school, but I got use to being lazy. Today a
class of "at risk youth" visited the news room here at ELAC. Their
teacher was the daughter of Dolores Huerta and I just basically gave
them a run down of what me and everyone in the news paper does. Course
I talked about the day to day stuff, buy the students really didn't
seem to care.

These are students from continuation schools who do nothing but fuck
around in school and cause nothing but trouble. One kid was cholo'ed
out and had the scars to prove it. Some of the girls didn't even care
what was going on and talked bs because that's all they know. But when
I told them how I went to some of the worst schools in L.A. and got my
act together after soo long, they seemed kinda impressed.

The teacher even said that what I've gone through is something they
can relate to on a personal level. So if anything I hope that shows
them that even though you may have been delt a shitty hand, you can
still turn things around for the better. But damn were those kids
cabrones just like when I was in school. Same problems different kids.

Then later on I felt like shit because I just do, I didn't even wanna
be at the house because I'm over being there. I decided to make my way
to a art reception for the paper I write for and hang out there for a
while. I was gonna go for a long walk and think things out, but
instead I ended up meeting up with someone else and got some schooling
on being a Chicano and some of the problems we face as a raza.

Needless to say the night took a turn for the better. Once I for back
to the house I talked to the most wonderful girl I know for two hours
about my philosophy on life, my love life, future plans and over all
randomness. She's a real sweet heart for just listening to what I had
to say and even though I wanna be like, "hey. quiero estar contigo por
que pensamos higual y tu me entiendes como nadien mas." but we're both
too busy with school and life to hang out and build on that. But just
talking to her made me feel better.

~ con safos ~

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Staff Meeting

Ahh the school news paper. I've been a part of it directly and
indirectly for as long as I have been in school, two years. Ohh the
drama that comes sometimes would make for a great MTV reality show.

Case in point I dated someone on staff and it didn't turn out well ;-)
Other than that being on the newspaper is a great experience that I
wouldn't change for nothing in this world. I've grown and learned in
leaps just being here, the people around me and of course our
instrctor, she knows her stuff.

I have matured in more way than one in part of the newspaper. I went
from being a shy, chubby, nerdy guy to being being a half cocked,smart
ass that thinks he knows everything. But yeah, part of the reason the
way I am is because of the paper and the work I have done here.

I can safely say that after being here so long and doing so much work
that I consider myself a real reporter that's still learning the
ropes. I've taken what I've learned here in the paper and applied it
to life and especially blogging. Ohh dear god, I remember how bad a
speller I was, I would change tenses it was all crap really.

But the paper changed all that. It's opened doors that have put me in
the pipe line to meet and write about the people in my community and
the work they do. I've ascended beyond anything I could imagine both
intellectually and as a person. I'll always be appreciative of this
but as of late I've felt like a big fish in a small pond. Transfering
is my next step but I still have room to improve and help others out.
So like I wrote before. This is going to be a great semester. I can
feel it and my hands are shaking. That's a good thing.
~ con safos ~

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Statistics 227


Today was statistics. I'm not one for equations, but stats has nothing to do with that so I was thrown for a loop. I'm not worried about though, it's all a matter of putting in the effort and the work. As always the class was packed and a bunch of students added. Nothing special or unusual here. 

As you can see I got bored really fast and decided to keep myself busy while the teacher explain the class, what she expects us to do blah, blah,blah... The only fun part of the class was when she asked everyone to get into groups and introduce each other. Course I did the easiest thing, turned around, startled the girl behind me and introduced myself. Then the girl behind her also introduce herself and we had a little circle going. We had to come up with five things we had in common like 1. being in the same class together 2. being liars, but honest 3. having Mexican parents 4. attended ghetto schools and 5. we're in our early 20's. Of course I made it a point to not let it get stale and awkward so I asked them about themselves, told them about me and cracked jokes every now and then. Course it helped that they were cute, but that's as far as it'll go. I'm too hot to handle haha. We traded info in the case one of us misses class. Thankfully my bff let me borrow her book and calculator for the class other wise I wouldn't have taken it. Phew.    

El Santo

25 years have gone by since one, if not thee greatest lucha libre legend to ever step into the ring has passed away.(Feb 5 1984)  El Santo is still one of my favorite wrestlers because of everything he stood for. Because my father was a luchador in his time in Mexico, I have a greater and more powerful understanding of what lucha libre (wrestling) means to people in Mexico and all over the world. El Santo was the working mans hero. He was a symbol of hope and strength during harsh times. It went beyond entertainment, he became an icon to everyone. His son still carries on the tradition and he himself hopes to pass it on to his son one day. A lot of people knock on lucha libre and wrestling in general because a lot of it is fake and it's all for a good show, but the hard work and sacrifices luchadors put themselves through is not. Lucha Libre is one of the greatest sports ever and I can safely say it's in my blood. My love for it will never die.  

Spring 2009

This is going to be a great semester. I can feel it. It's not hunger
or sore joints, I just know it's going to be a great year. I just know
it's going to be. I got a feeling about it, trust me. My desk again.

~ con safos ~

Monday, February 09, 2009

Chicano Power


I dropped photo and added Chicano Studies 52, Modern Mexican Art and I LOVE THIS CLASS!!  Just from reading the course description I know that I am going to have an orgasm studying art. I tell ya I was on fire !!! The teacher, Sybil Venegas who is a great Chicana and educator, is teaching the class. When she talked about the history of murals in Mexico and how it relates now I raised my hand and let everyone have it. I'm not saying I'm a know it all, but when I hear talk about murals, art and shit, my spidey senses tingle and I'm on it like white on rice on a white paper plate in a snow storm. I gave everyone the down low on Self Help Graphics and it's say to say that

I impressed a few of the students there haha ;-) Of course there's nothing but hot chicks in that class and they're all Chicanas, a huge plus. Also right off the bat I ended up meeting with other cats in the know and kinda made a little group, course they're taking the class as honors students. I would have too but I'm done with honors. It's just more work and I don't have that luxury anymore. This is going to be a kick ass semester, I can tell already. 

Sunday, February 08, 2009

It rains on the just & unjust alike. Except in California

All this week, rain has been pouring back and forth, but I love every
minute of it. Twice I've already been caught out in the rain and
gotten SOAKING wet, despite my many layers of clothes. I was getting
sick there for a while but I got over it.

The only thing that bugs me is that the cold makes joints ache. My
left ankle feels like a rusty joint that grinds and squeaks when you
move it. I really should get it looked at, but I'm broke. Damn my need
for food and sheltor.

~ con safos ~

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Sold for $45

Not bad considering this idea was last minute. I had a lot of fun
doing the auction and so did everyone else there. Besides it's all to
help Self Help Graphics raise some feria. FYI my date is a doctor ;-D
it's also nice getting an ego boost too because we all need to feel
special sometimes.

~ con safos ~

Friday, February 06, 2009

Spring 2009

Cost the same as every other semester. Although I ended up adding
another 2($40 extra) unit class to be full time so I can get I $15 bus
pass that's good for 6 months. A $200 savings. But the great thing is
I'm taking classes that are book light. I borrowed one and if I stay
in photo that won't need much. But I'm gonna trade the photo class for
a bad ass Chicano studies class. Hmm decisions.
~ con safos ~

Win a date with me @ Self Help Graphics this Saturday


This is all for charity so come down and say hi or buy my ass because i'm so damn hot!!!


Calling ALL Singles! If you are interested in playing the dating game and are looking for some real hombres from ELA—-stop playing roulette with your love life—get in on this once in a lifetime opportunity to meet a REALLY NICE GUY or two.

You’ve tried it all: online dating, blind dates, and the east-side bar scene —but, you have never made a bid on a bonafide catch like El Random Hero (pictured above), or one of the Bladerunner Boyz, or a fierce filmmaker from Mun2 or A Writer & Founder of his own magazine! Si! All bilingual/All bicultural/All waiting to be your date at La Botanica de Amor this Saturday, February 7, 2009—around 3pm-ish. Eastside blogger Pachuco 3000 will MC this exciting love search and compatibility segment. You need to be in the right place at the right time to meet that special someone, right? Could it be at Self Help Graphics on February 7, at this puro-hombre parade? Making a bid on love is yours for the asking. A date with someone dreamy is yours for the taking and is your fate! Dates come with limo transportation, comida, an ELA cuero, carcahadas y mucho amor. Al Desmadre is sponsoring the meal-deal at Luminarias for El Random’s date, because Al is all about the love, Baby. Bring your alcancĂ­a–bid on one of these exciting real men. Meet us at La Botanica de Amor, Self Help Graphics, 3802 E. Cesar Chavez Blvd., ELA, noon to 5pm SHG.

"Will someone please EXPLAIN it to me"

"The comedian from the Watchmen"

A friend of mine commented on my situation and bring undocumented and
expressed how much she hates that the country needs and abuses
immigrants, yet it won't help them out at the sametime. I told her
that I made peace with that kind of stuff A LONG TIME AGO and that
living the way I do enables you to have a deeper and more profound
understanding of how the world works and how things are and why
they're like that.

I wouldn't know half the things I know and appreciate life the way I
do if it wasn't for my life and it's circumstances. I'm thankful for
knowing what I do and knowing that I love a much richer life than
normal people. I'm not a normal person by any means. I love the way I
am and I love how I can see things defferently than others. I'm
greatful and thankful for that and soo much more.
~ con safos ~

Thursday, February 05, 2009

A Boyle Heights morning

My vulgar Jay & Silent Bob ringtone wakes me up early this morning to
the sounds of, "fuck, fuck, fuck. Mother fuck, motha fuck..." I grab
and reach for my phone blindly as the bandana I wear to sleep blocks
out not only annoying light, but what seems to be another beautiful
day I'm greatful to see again.

I rub out the nights sleep from my eyes and like a five year opening
presents on Christmas, I check my email to see what the day may bring.
Nothing outta the ordinary today. More spam about wearing the right
bra size and buying a house. I read through a few quickies and behing
to emerge from my cacoon, for you see I live at my friends house and
for the last two years the floor and a sleeping bag have been my bed.
Sleeping on the floor is nothing new for me, sometimes it's the best
sleep ever.

I jimmy open the bathroom door with my knife because my friends
nephews locked it again. They're going to be nothing but trouble, but
that's only because the parents don't know how to raise kids. At 2-3
years old they can't even speak properly, but that's if they have the
baby bottle out of their mouth long enough to back to their parents or
abuelos. But I digress

I do the morning thing and I put on the same clothes I was wearing
yesterday. With school starting next week, I'm due for a hair cut and
the only person I trust with my canas is my friend "Cheech" at Jesse's
Barbershop. I've been going to him since before and after I had my
long hair, but in my line of work, looking like a decent young man
pays off.

As I male my way through the historic "Brooklyn Corridor" I grab a
copy of the Times from a door step. I'm still wondering if the Times
will really go through with cutting out the California section. I grab
some eye candy as I make my way down Chavez and to my dismay, "Cheech"
is sick and won't be in till tomorrow. I thank the barber for the info
and I make my way back toward the house.

I think of what I need to do for the day and I make a mental list, buy
deodarent, drop of $25 for Harleys doggie food, meet V @5 to go to a
comic book store and them meet up with C @9 for a poetry reading in
Highland Park. By the time I get to Soto & Chavez, the heart of East
L.A. I decide to pay my uncles restaurant a visit for some morning chow.

"La Chispa de Oro" has been in Boyle Heights for 15 years and they
make some of the best food in town. The best way to describe it, it's
like your mom is in the kitchen cooking for you. Nothing fancy, just
whole some food. People trip out when I tell them my uncle owns the
place, they've been coming here since forever.

I pop out the times, check my email one more time and grab a cup of
joe after I order some chilaquiles with salsa verde. My food is
staring to get cold now and my uncle just asked me how come I don't
put down the phone and eat. I'm not on to argue with that. It's just
another Boyle Heights morning for me.

~ con safos ~

What a Random Hero looks like...

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Institutionalized



"What are you trying to say?!I'm crazy when I went to your schools,I went to your churches, I went to your institutional learning facilities!!! So how can you say I'm crazy !!! It doesn't matter, I'll probably get hit by a car anyway.

Random fact about me...

Chinese New Year rocks & I love it !!!!

Monday, February 02, 2009

Jobs I've had part 1

You see that man in the bad cell phone shot selling oranges ? I saw that man today & his family/friends down the street hustlin' oranges. He reminded me of some of the jobs I've had myself to make ends meat. I think back to those times and all I feel is anger, disappointment
and tragedy.

The other day at work I saw a street vendor, again with her kids trying to sell sliced fruit in bags, but everytime a police cruiser would drive by, they would all run for their lives carrying everything with them.

While I've had jobs like that, I've never been in the position of having to run away for fear of being arrested or moved away from the place I was selling. By I digress from my point, which is to talk about jobs that I've had.

In Mexico my parents had a fruit stand in one of the biggest tianguis(out door market) in the whole city. They know their stuff when it comes to fruit and they made a nice loving from it. They would take me along but at that age I wasn't really working, I was known as the devil child who was a walking mailstrum. My mom told me that I would go to other stands, especially my padrinos(god father) and knock over their stuff for no reason. Hence the name.

Between leaving Mexico and coming to America, my dad sewed in a factory and worked where he could till we we're all together. Working with an in-law, my father learned the trade of selling car tires. He knew where to buy them, how to retread them and how to put them on
cars. After a while he eventually saved enough money to start his own business.

In a few years and struggling soo much, my father finally made his promise real. He had his own business and he was ok his way to becoming a property owner. The house and business were basically the samething. There I learned to fix tires, how to retread them and how
to put them on cars. All at the age of 8-9. If I wasn't at school I was suppose to be helping him out, but instead I was Getting into trouble.

He lost his first business and managed to salvage another one in south central while at the sametime he bought an apartment complex in Long Beach. I hated commuting and I hated that job. It was more of the same crap over and over again. One problem my father had is that be liked to drink. He would make friends with random stragers,grill some carne asada and drink till the cows came home. They never did.

He lost alot thanks to his drinking and put my mom through a lot of shit that I'll probably never forgive him for. He spent soo much time, energy and money in those businesses that we could live like kings right now. But I always hated him because he always had the family
there no matter what. I remember one night coming home and my cute neighboor walked up to me in a stunning dress. 

She just came from a school dance to get something and she asked my how come I didn't go. I
looked at my blackened hands, dirty shorts and messed up hair and I realized that she wanted me to be part of a world I will never be part of.

FYI she asked me to be her bf when I first met her, but back then I didn't even know what to do with a girl, let alone have a gf. To this day I still regret never manning up and taking her up on that offer. After all she asked me and all I did was shut my mouth in complete awe that a beautiful girl would wanna be my gf. Damn I'm an idiot.

After my father tired of the tire business, he got into picking up shopping carts for super markets. I'm sure you've seen those trucks driving around with shopping carts in the back. My father did that for a good year and to this day, that was the best job he ever had. His
area was in watts so needless to say that he had interesting confrentations with the locals.

Of course my father being that man that he is, he would take either my mom or me along with him to help him out. All we did was drive around picking up carts and taking them back to the store. Some days were better than others but that was a job I hated. I remember when they
would drive me to school in the truck or pick me up, I would lean down super low soo no one would see me.

In a spur of the moment idea, my father realized that he could male his job easier if he bought bottles and cans from homeless people. He would get his money back and keep the shopping cart at the same time. Buying bottles and Cana from crackheads was another low point. They
would come at all hours of the night and some sold him things that they stole.

I was ashamed of his job and I denied it when friends would question me about it. I was fat and nerdy, I didn't need anymore problems at school. I even remember when his boss gave him a Christmas bonus for all his hard work. I may have hated that job, but it was one of best one a had. An honest job.

In my next post find out what new job my father embarked on after leaving the shopping cart trade. Discover the secrets of my fathers Midas touch and how I hated every moment of it. Same Bat-time, same Bat-channel.

~ con safos ~

Staring of the week right

So in case you didn't notice, I just changed the name of my blog title just a few seconds ago actually. Why ? Well why not. When I named it "American Wet Back" way back in 06, i wasn't in the same place I am now and I'm thankful for that everyday. I may not be where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I use to be. I also switched up the tag line a little too. Change is always a good thing and in this case, it reflects what this blog has turned into over time. Really, the only reason I even blogged was because I needed somewhere to see what I'm thinking and having a journal is not the same sometimes. You gotta keep up with the times cause the times they are a changin'. 

Anywho, my ankle is doing better, swelling is way down, thanks for well wishes. School is a week away and I cannot wait to have my office space again.

I have about a good year left before I can transfer to either Long Beach or Northridge. I'll figure out the money problem soon, but for now I'm trying to decide on which school to go to. I'm really leaning toward CSUN because of their bad ass chicano studies department. Plus it helps that I know some of those teeachers already. I get around and I see them at all the same events I go to. A Chicano Journalist, I like the sound of that. (Future post) I'm stoked about taking photography, not soo much about statistics and I'm already predicting drama at the school news paper because you should never date a co-worker. Trust me it can only end badly. Jackie if your reading this, you know that I'm not being dramatic or anything. It's all true.

But I want to start of the week of productive, so here are few links of high interest that caught my attention and they're worth noting and reading if you get around to it.

It's a good piece about some of the drastic measures some of us are willing to take and endure so we can fight for what little rights the Gov. recognizes and chooses to give us. My only problem is that they didn't give links to any of the blogs she writes for. 


~ her personal blog www.floresiste.wordpress.com


I can't explain how hard this story hit me this morning as I was reading it. All of the frustration that rises when I was reading it can overwhelm me if I'm not careful. But I focus on her strength, her will and determination to continue on in a world not meant for "us." Just reading the piece makes me want to meet this young lady and tell her that there is help out there for her and that's everything will work out. I.D.E.A.S made sure of that.  

Some quotes that got to me, 

  "The first in her family to attend college, De La Cruz believes that a 3.0 is her way out of a      crowded apartment and into a life with new opportunities."

De La Cruz faces fairy tale odds. She's an illegal immigrant, so she isn't eligible for most forms of state and federal financial aid.

"I began to see my teachers as role models, something my mother could not become," she wrote.

"Her mother also declined to help pay for her education but offered to buy her a prom dress. She wanted her to work full time."

"I'm feeling all poor," De La Cruz said after passing a BMW dealership.

"A blond sorority sister glanced at De La Cruz and yanked back the flier."

"I guess I'm going to have to put my diploma up on the wall and that'll be all," she said.

All of those miles commuting, the cold silences from her mother, the long hours she'd worked, only to fall short.

"This C stuff isn't working," she muttered.


And last but not least over at "documenting me," mental health is brought up and discussed. I for one can totally realate to that post because God only knows how fucked up I am in the head as well. This immigration thing expands into all aspects of life and affects some of us more than others. 

I'm pretty sure I'm fucked up for life. I mean, even if DREAM passes and I eventually become a citizen, the emotions, frustrations, fears and nightmares won't just clear my mind. They'll linger. ~

~ The weight that we carry is of monumental proportions. We work, often to support not only ourselves but also our families. We study so we can better ourselves. We try to hide this anxiety, because we can't tell others about what we're going through, it's our burden.~